How did I get herpes?

The simple answer to this question is I do not know. I am not a particularly promiscuous person - in fact I have slept with just two people in the last 3 years. The first was a relationship that lasted for 2 years whilst the most recent was a one night stand. It was after the one night stand that my symptoms started so it is no suprise that I thought that was the source - BUT I did of course use a condom so I assumed that I caught it from unprotected oral sex. I was wrong - I emailed this girl after being diagnosed and she got tested and yes she is negative for HSV2.

I did however learn recently that it is possible for HSV2 to lay dormant for many years and be triggered by some 'penile trauma' (see last blog entry) - which may explain the appearance of symptoms after the one night stand (I am not insinuating that it was traumatic). This however leaves me none the wiser - I could have caught this at any time in my sexual history and since I have not been symptomatic until recently then it is incredibly unlikely that I would have passed it to someone else.

The other possibility is my exgirlfriend - but this leaves me with a dilemma. If I tell her she might have a test and the outcome of the test will be one of two things:

• positive - I am still none the wiser since she may also be a carrier and just have the antibodies with no symptoms. I might have given it to her OR she to me and there is no way to know.
  

• negative - I at least know it was from someone before her but am left back where I started with the same unanswered question.

I therefore do not know what to do. I do not think there is any value in trying to find someone to hold accountable - we already know this is a common and contagious virus which many people have without ever knowing about it. It is possble that I caught it off my exgirlfriend just before we split so perhaps it is worth her getting tested to be on the safe side.

I have resolved to talk to her about it (at least by email) so that she can at least hold all the facts. I do not however plan to work my way backwards though my exgirlfriends and sexual partners because as discussed that does not benefit them or me.

On a much lighter note - the date today went very well. It is early days so I am not considering the herpes issue quite yet. I will cross that bridge when I need to. One day at a time!