Why haven't I told her?

I am sure that I mentioned it before but I when I found out about my new pal herpes I decided I should probably do the right thing and talk to my ex-girlfriend. As mentioned in the post I never showed symptoms when I was with her so most likely I didn't give it to her. It is also likely that he didn't give it to me given her apparent lack of symptoms during our relationship. Nonetheless I had planned to talk to her about it just in case. The problem I that I haven't. Perhaps I am being weak or perhaps I do not see the point in putting her through the grief.

This remains unresolved.

Online herpes dating

One of the first thoughts that went through my mind when I found out about the herpes was 'Will I ever have a relationship again?'. Substitute the word 'relationship' with the word 'sex' and you will have another of my thoughts at that time. However being the proactive kind of guy that I am I immediately had a look around for dating sites for people with herpes - I was suprised to find quite a few.

I have considered the concept of online dating in the past and I am always interested in new ways to meet people. 'Herpes dating' seems like a slightly different beast but I figure that going on a date with someone where you know nothing about each other except that you both have genital herpes could be if little else an interesting and bizarre experience. I am a man who loves new and bizarre experiences so I recently joined a two of these sites.

I want to be quite clear at this point that I 100% do not intend to only date people with herpes. I would absolutely encourage everyone with herpes to not limit themselves in this way. I have in fact recently been on dates with a couple of girls who I as far as I know are not members of 'community herpes' (although I guess that there is a 1 in 5 chance that anyone I date has it). Herpes dating for me is just another way to meet and if I meet someone I like on one then who am I to argue.

I am sure there will be more to say about this topic in the future!

'Crazy horrible things' - don't listen to them!

I am feeling incensed with the volume of bad advice abundantly available and given to people with herpes by people with herpes. In many cases the advice lacks any coherence and serves to scare all readers who may have herpes and may be planning to carry on with their lives without the constant fear of it spreading to their brain or the thought of not having sex for the next decade.

I quote from a message board that I was recently reading:
'today I took care of a patient that had encephalo hsv meaning herpes inside his body spread up to his brain... you mentioned herpes in the lungs.. yes, there are all these crazy horrible things that can happen with HSV.'

Okay yes it is possible for herpes to spread around the body but I think we may be missing a few key facts here. For example did this person actually had some immunodeficincy such as AIDs or recent chemotherapy. Perhaps some real statistics about the likelyhood of this happening would also be of use with reference to a scientific paper. Also do I need to remind everyone that 80% of the population have one or the other form of herpes - should we spread the word and make sure that people start living in constant fear of the 'crazy horrible things that can happen with HSV'.

Better still is my favourite advice about how diet can help control herpes outbreaks;
'Get your Ph level up and get alot of oxygen to your cells then you should be good.'

I mean what does this even mean. 'Get alot of oxygen to my cells' - so I should breathe then (because I hadn't planned on stopping that anytime soon) and cut back on the vinegar to help solve my Ph problems. Are you really serious?

Please I implore you all - Seek the advice of a medical professional and learn the facts!!!!

Friends and herpes

I have been very busy this week and have not found any time to write. Right now my brain is tired out and I should probably be asleep. I am not sure I have anything to say about herpes today and I hope that by writing this blog I don't start defining my persona as a man with herpes. I will try to make some of the posts just about my life without just talking about herpes - if anything I hope they will continue to remind myself (and anyone who choses to read) that people with herpes are no different to people without herpes.

I have so far told 5 of my close friends about the herpes. I did in fact tell them soon after the symptomatic diagnosis last year. Since these 5 people are very close friends they have all been very supportive and I often find myself joking about it with them. It has been great to talk to people about this and it has really helped me put things into perspective.

It turns out I am also a complete wimp since I have not spoken to my exgirlfiend about my diagnosis. I am still not convinced that it will do anything but cause her unecessary grief. I do however feel more strongly that I should tell people about H before I start having sex with them. It will be interesting to see if this plays out in practice.